More tranny stories later!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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