Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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