Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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