somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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