Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She's the barista slut.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
