people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize