I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
