his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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