It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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