tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
