She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
