I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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