Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
