I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
