It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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