I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
