no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
