and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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