i need an iv and a liver transplant
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
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