honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
