You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
