She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
