Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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