I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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