This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
