There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
