you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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