I heard we made out
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
