OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
