Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
