Yo dont text me then not text me
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
