do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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