To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
