go do what you do best...puke behind churches
one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
