Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Even my vagina gasped.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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