And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
