Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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