he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
