I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
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