normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
