I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
