You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
