3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
