i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i can't believe i had my finger in that
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
