Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
