You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
