i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
