i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
