what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
