But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
