Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
