if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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