Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
